Made In Boise
(light piano music) (light bulb flickering) (people chattering) – Like now I feel like I’m going to get super emotional. – Well, it’s your baby shower. – Yeah. – It is an emotional time, right? – I know.
– It’s so exciting and stuff. – Hi everyone! – Hello. – How are you Lauren? – This has got to be the baby girl? – This is the baby girl. This is her. So how do you know Shannon? – [Woman] We work together.
– Okay. – How about you? What’s your connection? – Just this area. – Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Did you like her surrogate? – That was awesome. (gentle music) (computer beeping) – Hi Chelsea. – [Chelsea] Hi, how are you? – I’m fine thanks, you look great.
Thank you, can you see my belly? – [Ernesto] No, yes! (both laughing) Well Chelsea, how come the last appointment with Dr. Lolas? – He measured my belly, and he said it’s the size of a 30 week, which I’m only 24 weeks, so it’s quite large.
The babies are growing. With my twins, they came naturally at 36 weeks, five days. – I told my family because none of my family knew it. – How did they take it? – At the beginning, bit of shock. – Yes.
– You know it was like wow, they like the idea – Yeah. – I’m so eager to see their faces. – I know. The 3D ultrasound with help you with that a little bit but it’s so different when you see them and you hold them.
– Oh my God, the way you speak it’s like you’re an expert. (chuckles) – I’ve had a few children. (laughs) – It sounds like you would be the doctor, you know? – Oh no, you froze. Where’d you go? You want them open? – Yeah.
Mommy! – One of my sisters is terrified of being pregnant and birth, so I’ve often said to her, “You know, when you’re ready, I’ll have your baby for you.” And she just hasn’t been ready. Are you gonna eat these or are you just going to line them all up? – Line them all up.
– And then I met with Nicole, and it just felt right. Like something that was meant to be. – [Nicole] You knew she was gold. – [Woman] Yeah and I said I’ll get you masked right away. (chuckles) – I’m gonna finish.
– And then here’s all the rest of the information. ‘Cause we need to be reaching out to some of the clinics, too. And find out what the want from us when we bring on new egg donors. – All right, move on.
(door bell dings) I got into surrogacy because I loved being pregnant. But I knew we were done with our family. Like I didn’t want any more kids. I didn’t wanna raise them. (chuckles) I carried for two women my first time, and then my second, Jackie, just turned three.
They said they chose me because (laughing) I listened to Bob Marley. And they wanted their child to hear Bob Marley while I was pregnant and experience that. Ariella just turned one in February. And then this one will come on September 28.
(chuckles) We already have the date set and everything. – [Don] I think last time I checked in with her, she had over 150 surrogates total. So that keeps you busy, that’s for sure. – [Nicole] You ready? – [Mattie] Okay, ready, let’s do it.
– Go into the IP and go to the, like their– – Questionnaire type stuff. – Yes. – Okay. – And to new parents. – Okay. David and Todd. – Same questionnaire, see questionnaire in sent profiles. One was born in Taiwan and one was born in Oregon.
But they reside now in Washington. – They have three frozen embryos ready to go. – Are they wanting to do one embryo transfer as well? Not interested in doing two? – Pacific Northwest, it’s their standard protocol to do one.
Unless egg quality is horrible. But– – Good. – I’ll have an egg donor? – Yeah. – So I am attaching Jay’s and Annie’s profile and sending that off. We definitely are considered on some level maybe matchmakers.
With the intending parents and the best possible surrogate that fits their desired requirements. – All right, so that’s sent over. – And for these women, being pregnant for them, is easy. Their deliveries were flawless, and they like being pregnant.
It’s fun for some of us. (giggles) (gentle music) – There’s a high number of nurses that do surrogacy. Nurses in general, I think, see that need and we’re always wanting to help people. Hi baby, you ready to go? You wanna go pee? My family consists of myself, a single mom, and I’ve got two biological children and three adopted children.
And also do foster care. – Joe come take your bowl. That’s your bowl. – My mom is the most hardheaded and stubborn woman you that you’ll meet. Does anything that she can to help the community. To help other families out.
If there’s a hand that needs help, she’ll be the first to lend it. (slow twangy music) She told me that she was going to be carrying a baby that wasn’t hers. The majority of my worry was her age and her health and everything like that.
But– – After a couple of days of not talking (chuckles), we made up. – Yeah. – And he’s been my rock since then. – Oh yeah. (upbeat music) – [Radio Host] You’re listening to Idaho Matters. I’m Jenna Goddet.
Surrogacy is an assisted reproductive technology technique in which one woman, called the surrogate, or the carrier, carries a child for another woman. Now in most cases, the surrogate is a gestational carrier, which means the carrier is implanted with a fertilized embryo, her eggs are not used for the pregnancy.
It’s not just gained in popularity nationwide, but in particular, Idaho. – You always say that my hands are full, but I like to say that my heart is full. I have good, good friends that kinda co-parent.
I take their kids when I can help out, or they take mine. My oldest is a ton of help. He says he’ll never have children of his own because he’s gotta take care of so many at home. But I assume that he’ll have children one day of his own and a family.
Good morning. We see a lot of surrogate parents come through, and one family in particular that I worked with very closely, I just knew that if they didn’t do surrogacy, they would have never been able to be parents.
And they were amazing. I just felt like if I could give that to somebody, I would love to do that. So I went ahead and put my biography out there. I’m older, so I wasn’t sure if that window had disappeared or not.
And was matched fairly quickly. A very awesome dad that I’ll be working with. Julian is his name, and it’s both of our intentions to be able to kinda share in the life of that baby. – You ready to go? – When Chelsea told me she wanted to be a surrogate, it was not something that we discussed as, hey I would like to do this, you know, what do you think? It was more I need to do this.
My initial reaction was one of selfishness. We have four children, taking on an additional pregnancy in the surrogacy is a big challenge and it’s a lot of stress on your family. It wasn’t until later in the pregnancy that I began to have my own fears that something bad could happen.
– I feel like surrogacy has a really bad meme to it, that it’s all deceit and money-seeking people and a lot of the women that I’ve met here are doing it for the most amazing reasons. So I just feel like it’s actually an incredible experience.
– [Nicole] You have an eyelash. – Well, that’s not surprising. – Okay, you’re good. – Okay. It’s an interesting process, the surrogacy. It’s quite a route to go through. Well, I remember you calling me and telling me that there’s a stack of papers is bigger than your house.
– Yeah, oh way more. Even just to get a surrogate, all the medical testing, psychological testing, there’s a lot to go through. – [Woman] She must just have good pregnancies. – And she will like, shrink up, like– – She bounces back good? – [Woman] How many times have you done, Nicole? – [Nicole] This is my fourth.
– Whoa, seriously? – [Woman] That was my reaction. (laughing) – You know, I have a friend of mine, she could just have babies all day. It’s just her body, it just works for her. – Seriously, I have to have a hysterectomy or something, ’cause I will just keep having babies.
He’s like, “You’re done.” – [Shannon] Surrogacy is about sacrifice and trust. And with us, the intended parents, it’s really, really scary. I had just gon to the doctor for an annual exam and they discovered a large fibroid.
And so my doctor immediately said, like, “Are you in a relationship?” And she knew that I was. “But if you’re planning on having a family, “you’re gonna need to do this now. “And it’s probably gonna be with assistance “of a fertility clinic.
” And I thought, like this is it for us. Because it’s a lot of pressure. We’ll be like, “Oh, well we have to start fertility now “if you wanna be with me for the rest of your life, “even though we’re not engaged.
” He just said, like, “Let’s do it.” And two weeks later, we were in a fertility clinic, and starting all of our treatments already. – The highs were really high, and the lows were really low, and I tried to balance them both.
First cycle of drugs they put her on, she just started bleeding and she pretty much didn’t stop for a month. We went through a couple of cycles with that. We just couldn’t get anything to stick. And sometimes when Shannon was feeling like that’s it, it’s over, there’s nothing left, I tried to remind her that no, it’s not over until the doctors say it’s over.
It’s not over until the embryo’s gone. – We just wanna thank everybody for coming here and sharing in this day. We all know what a journey this has been. And I will say as shitty as it’s been, It was meant to be because if not Nicole wouldn’t Be Here, – [Shannon] Nicole and I came to know each other for her own surrogate agency.
Nicole is not just the CEO of this agency, but she’s probably been an angel to a number of people, some hopeful parents like myself that unfortunately can’t carry their own. We had one embryo left. It was like the end of the road and she knew the seriousness of really finding the right person.
One night, Nicole and I are on the phone. I just said like, it’s like we’re looking for a fucking unicorn. And I don’t even believe in unicorns. And I was just like, we are literally looking for a unicorn and that kind of became Nicole and I sort of funny thing together.
Things were kind of like radar quiet for a little while. And I was wondering why and it was because Nicole had talked to her husband and just said that they were gonna do it one more time. And that they were gonna do it for us because her and I become so close over the year.
She was in I’d found my unicorn. And for those of you that don’t know, I’m really honored that we’re gonna name our baby, Grayson Nicole. So thank you. (people clapping) Okay now if everyone has a drink lets just– – Okay, here’s Sammy’s profile.
Oh, very cute pictures of her own son. – [Todd] Cute, yeah. – [David] Her delivery was a C section. If that ends up being the direction we go it actually could be easier. Right so we don’t have to camp out in Boise and wait for her to deliver.
– Right. But it does cost more for a C section. – [Samantha] Dear intended parents, my name is Samantha. I am 26 years old, I was born in Boise, Idaho. I grew up with my mother and older sister who I consider my best friends.
I’ve been a nail tech for six years now. I now have a son named Walter who I enjoy spending my days off with. The love that I felt when he was born was astronomical. It would be an absolute honor if you would consider me to carry for you.
Samantha. – Do you want some apple juice? – No. – Being a surrogate is something that I had considered doing prior to even having children ’cause I had fertility issues. My body just wasn’t regulating.
And so it finally did, and I finally got pregnant. And of course, after you have your own child, you think about it and you’re like, it’s so heartbreaking that there’s people out there who can’t have children of their own.
– That’s mama. – Mama. Oh Mama give her a kiss. – [Gabi] You played basketball. – [Sammie] Yeah, look at me. – I like this one a lot. This is like like a sister moment. A Very cute sister moment. – Ohhh, Gabi look at us.
A big thing is the compensation. People are really embarrassed to ask about it for whatever reason it is but it’s, you know, it’s a part of it. Oh, look, I was in the middle cause I was the best one. – [Todd] So when we first started to think about having a family, I think it really started way back when we very first met, because that was one of the things that we had decided that was really important to us.
actually one of David’s deal breakers as far as the person he was looking to marry. – [David] We got married in 2012 shortly after we started planning on having children. Washington State’s prohibits pay surrogacy.
So Surrogates is allowed, but they cannot be compensated. We have friends, friends who volunteer and we’re told that she was overweight. We even had an opportunity to get to choose five days before embryo transfer that our friends were told that she has an aneurysm.
– [David] That’s almost as anxiety inducing as waiting to know if you’re pregnant right. So we went through a lot of ups and downs with each one of them. – At the end, we had no choice but to reach out to the professionals.
– I mean, Boise is grown. We have more options. We’re not as expensive as some of the larger agencies in bigger states. So I would say like on average, it’s 120,000 here and compared to California, it’s like 200,000.
And I think that’s a big selling point for Boise. (phone vibrating) Coster possibilities ,this is Nicole. – [Valerie] Hi Nicole this is Valerie. – Hey, Valerie, how are you? Want to get your insurance to the exchange.
So your total amount that what you would have gotten is 23,000. At seven weeks, you’re go in for an ultrasound and once there is a confirmed heartbeat. At eight weeks, you start getting a monthly payment.
– [Valerie] And what happens if the baby doesn’t make it and passes away? – At that time, then payments stop and it’s your contracts done. – [Valerie] Okay. Well, thank you so much. – Thank you have a good day.
Hey. – [Shannon] I gave him the pictures and showed everybody at school. I came in one day to drop him off and just like are you guys having a baby? even tell you everybody you guys are – [Brea] The baby is facing down right now.
– Do you think she’s gonna wear lip gloss like me? – Mmh not when she’s little. – Hmm. That’s great. I’m so excited. If I could just See her hair color? I’m dying to know her color so bad. – How are things? – Good.
– How you feel? – Good. – You doing okay, good. – Everything looks great on the scan. Yeah no concerns. – Tell me how much weight I weighed for the last one because Shannon claims I have been withheld.
– 147. Last time it was 138. We’re edging up towards the… – Oh that’s not good at all we usually being 50 – …upper end of normal. On the bigger side but that’s okay. This is always what happens to you and then it levels out after that so you’re fine.
Its all good. – I’m so excited. – All right, we’ll see you later six year old. (sneezing) – Bless you. – Bless you. – Its supposed to be mom for Mother’s Day, but you can also do this and do wow. And then a Kawai cupcake.
– Aidan I cant believe you made this mess you can clean up my room. – Yeah, yes I know. – Hey, you okay. I think I’m done populating states for a while. Yeah, I’m done. This is my sixth pregnancy. – [Addie] Mom – I gained nine in the last month.
yeah(laughs) – [Addie] My mom has people that have babies for the people. For the people that one, one but they can’t get one. Basically, it’s pretty cool but weird at the same time. – [Radio host] We bout surrogacy and how it’s rising in popularity, but also why people are choosing Idaho.
– [Nicole] You know, with the infertility rates increasing, there’s always a need for gestational carriers, and we have a lot of women either stay at home moms, you know, work at the hospital who want to be carriers.
– [Woman 1] It’s like an out of body experience. Like you’re looking at someone up above for this first moment, this amazing, special, joyful moment that you gotta be a part of. – [Woman 2] Seeing that intended parents hold their baby for the first time, you can’t describe that moment.
– [Woman 3] People always ask me Well, how is it giving up the bait giving up the baby? Well, it’s never giving up the baby is giving the baby back. – [Chelsea] Go go go! – [Chelsea] How did you feel about me becoming a surrogate again? – There were a lot of conversations I had in my head that I knew I couldn’t have with you.
I think some of the things that I was worried about was simply Is she crazy? Because this is just too much emotional baggage. This is too heavy, carrying children for other people. That’s a huge. Its huge.
– Okay, so this is your volume. This cups relax your uterus so there’s no cramping during the transfer. – Okay. – Can do more than a full body relaxation that’s why you have a driver. – Correct. – Good news Julian, so we thought embryo number five the one you wanted us to good color good expansion, so we’re very pleased.
– [Julian] I will be expecting the results! – I know you’ll have to keep busy. – [Julian] Thank you very much. – Okay, bye. – The essential amino acids in that little embryo likes Justin’s gonna go to this catheter, that nice glasses.
– The embryo should be between this air bubble and that bubble. If that embryo doesn’t suppose to hatch out sometime tonight after dinner or before breakfast. (camera shuttering) – You ready? One, two, three.
I’ll send it to Julian – Feel free to stay as long as you need to, to get ready to go and then that value will help you rest of the day. (laughing) – You’re golden! – Golden. I feel fuzzy. – You guys better take all the naps you can right now.
(laughing) – This is the paternity affidavit and this will automatically put them on the birth record as father because you’re birthing the child in the state of Idaho you are assumed to be the mother.
And so we complete this section but then once you go to court, you’ll be removed from the birth record. Okay. Now, we just wait for the baby. – I had my own children through a surrogate, which was my sister.
I just relate so much with intended parents and what they’re going through and the loss that they feel. – [Monica] When Sarah approached me about whether I’d be willing to start practicing in this area and learn this area, so vital statistics.
I went on the internet and I did some research. And I saw the arguments about women being exploited and the risk that it would be used to coerce women to carry children for other parties. And it is a risk if you don’t have the right guidelines and people moving forward it absolutely is a risk.
And then I saw the flip side, a community of people who are involved in this both from medical professionals, non legal professionals who are acting and protecting women, and you really get a sense that it is a community that’s helping.
– [Cydni] Section 1.5 just says that you guys are gonna remain in contact with the each other so return phone calls, texting, all of that within 24 hours. – Okay. – Okay, medical emergencies. The important thing to remember about that is if there is a medical emergency that affects the baby intended parents do get to make the decision.
If it affects both you and the baby, your health comes first health of the baby comes second, but you do need to consult with them. It is important to know that you can’t have sexual intercourse with anyone unless they are medically cleared by your obese.
Section seven is also something to have given some thought too. They have the right to ask you to undergo a termination anytime before 24 weeks. If you disagree, if you refused, it’s a breach of contract.
So there’s $125,000 penalty all that said, intended parents are gonna want this baby more than anybody else. So they’re not gonna terminate on a whim. But if there is a serious medical reason you need to make sure you’re comfortable with that.
– Okay – Okay. You do have counseling available to you. That is paid By intended parents up to $1,000 – Hopefully I won’t have a hard time giving the baby away. – Yeah. Maybe. – Maybe – Yeah. – We’ll know more I talk to the other girls about it, you know, cause I’m like, oh, it’ll be fun it’s not mine.
And they’re like, no, it’s pretty hard, especially with your hormones. It’s a lot of stuff to think about. It a lot of stuff to cool. – It is, isn’t it? – Yeah – Yeah. – My youngest is almost two. I don’t want any more kids, but I like being pregnant.
(laughs) – Preaching to the choir. – I know. – I don’t think I would have taken the steps to be a surrogate if I didn’t have somebody to answer all the questions that I had. Kristina was my client and she really inspires me because she’s not afraid to about anything.
You know, she’s very open and I try to be the same way. – I am 12 weeks postpartum from my Sero daughter but I had sero twins two years ago. I’m undecided about caring again. (chattering) – She’s like, “you’re gonna have a hard time trying to give up a baby.
” I’m like mom, I will be okay. I have enough children of my own. – Legit that’s right – Well done dude! Right, If this isn’t what I wanted to do I wouldn’t be doing it right.(laughs) – [Monica] Some of the first surrogacy cases were true, traditional surrogacy and traditional surrogacy is where the woman carrying the child is using her egg.
And there were some very early cases involving that, hat created a pretty negative perception of surrogacy. – Gestational carrier is different. It’s not her genetic material. – Hi Ernesto, I hope you’re doing well.
I just bought some new maternity clothes today because the belly and babies are growing. Dr. Lovelace has mentioned testing a few times but mentioned since you did the genetic testing before the transfer, there really isn’t a need.
Are you comfortable with that? – Hi Chelsea I’m fine thanks for asking. I’m on holiday spending a few days in the north of Spain. Most of my days hiking by the mountains or the beach if the time allows cannot complain.
Let’s move on without any additional testing. Looking forward to more good news in the coming weeks, I’m now living some of the exciting days of my life thanks to you. So thanks a lot. Cheers, Ernesto.
– All right, let’s go ahead and get started. Good morning. We have 30 babies four C sections this morning. Two elective inductions and two medicals, so we should be busy. – Well, there’s a lot to it that I didn’t realize when you would think I should know these things and especially being in the nick you that I would understand all this stuff that went into it.
Clueless, completely clueless did not know how much I did not know and then trying to keep up with all your appointments and still trying to keep in touch with the parents that you’re caring for and keeping them then you have your contracts and your lawyers.
It is a big job. – I can only imagine that if unless you’re going through it or been through it, really you need that empathetic ear that understands exactly where you’re coming from. – The first year that we had this program, we saw about 40 surrogates.
The next year, we saw 60. Last year, we saw 80. And this year, we’ll have well over 100 surrogates that deliver in our health system. And then we’re working with hospitals all over the country to help them when they have surrogates that come through the doorway.
– Here are some hard and fast tools of the trade of things not to ask families that are unique families, who’s the real mother or father? How much did your child cost you? Do we ask other families? How much did it cost you to bring this child into the world? – When you ask why do we have so many surrogates that live here in Boise, I think there’s a couple of factors.
One of them is is that we have a relatively healthy population of women. I think the other one is that we have a large LDS or Mormon population and a large Catholic populations and both of those fates are used to large families.
And so it’s not outside the norm for them to say, Well, I think I could do that for someone and help them grow that way. – The woman is carrying the child is never the parent. And I need to say that one more time they are never the mom.
So we don’t refer to them as mom and we don’t refer to them as even I’ve heard like surrogate mom, No, they are not the mom, they are not the parent. The intended parents and who’s going to parent this child are the parents.
When you go to Seattle and California and Oregon surrogacy is the new norm oftentimes for many of those families struggling with fertility. – Hi. – Hi. – I’m not nervous yet. I’ll be nervous when they say take her home.
(laughs) Nicole is a pro. So I’m not nervous about her. She knew we only had the one embryo and we’d also develop this relationship. And she knew how important it was to us. And here we are. – [Nicole] Is the front door locked? – [Don] Yes.
– [Nicole] You sure? – [Don] Oh my God would you stop? We are delivering babies. – I didn’t lock it did you? – Yes. – Traffic at this time isn’t that? I can’t eat anymore. – Well then stop. – Smile. – I was.
Like 20 of them. – okay. (laughs) – Go. – I love you we gonna have a baby. – She actually got almost completely back to like her normal size, and then was like, Hey, get me be pregnant again. (laughs) – You have been at some stage of pregnant post pregnant or in the process of getting pregnant again for seven years now.
– The cervix is still about the same but that’s not surprising. This will help. – Oh it’s draining. – Do you feel it? – Yeah. (laughing) – It is go time. – Is it Really? – Yeah. – She’s 10 centimeters.
– Just tends to take long. – Are you getting one? – I don’t want to. – But that’s how the baby comes out. All the way down. There you go. Good job. That’s it. There you go. Perfect. Do another one? Okay.
– One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. – Good she’s here! – I’m waiting to see what color its gonna be. You got it. – One, two, three– – There you go. – Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
– She’s so glad she decided to do this one more time. – I am. – One, two, three, four keep going don’t stop. – What’s up little girl? – Hi baby girl? Look at that filth you were swimming in. Hello! – Good job.
– Oh, good job girlie. Gonna leave this. – There you go right there. You have to stay kind of close down to me. Lemme see her. Oh why so squirmy. Perfect. Awesome. Oh, there we go. – She’s just content in your arms, isn’t she? – Yeah.
– Pooping everything all over me. – That’s all right, Welcome to motherhood. – Congratulations. – Thank you. – Uh-huh, that ain’t got Gabi. There she is. – Good morning papa. You ready to go? – Let’s go.
– Tell me the date again. – The due date May 18th. One of them text me every Friday without fail and it’s so funny because I never remember to text him. I remember the last week though the whole text me every 40 weeks today It’s cute.
I finally went back to the gym last week – Sammie hardly gained anything first time. – Yeah, but who knows what will happen this time. We are all different. You know me being a single mother I don’t have two incomes.
So it’s nice because I can still work my regular job, and then I have a compensation coming in from a surrogacy and it’s really great for me for Walter. – One of the dads was kinda reserved as he gets more excited.
– I think so. I think it was just hard because the were two times before me where it didn’t work out. So am glad where we are now. I just want everything to go smoothly after this. (Speaking in foreign language) – Can you show mum where the pepper is.
It’s from uh– – Pepper. (laughing) – [David] I think I knew I wanted to be a father before I knew I was gay. (speaking in foreign language) When I was little I had heard the term test tube baby so I knew the technology was there but even today even in Taiwan IDF is reserved for married couples.
Thank you for coming. So am glad I have the access to the fertility in IDF readily in the US. I’m hoping one day it will become available to the people in Taiwan and not have to travel outside the country.
– This is the beginning. This is the day that Chelsea went for the transfer. And this was when we got the confirmation. People tend to judge others. Moving from one direction to another without having full information.
Is much easier to have babies like people do, right? Obviously you got two losses ’cause you got no other options left. In most of the countries in Europe where surrogacy is allowed is not legal to pay the surrogate however, it is not illegal if you’re using a surrogate out of Spain.
The agency in Spain put me in contact with agency in Idaho, okay, with a host of possibilities that I knew where Idaho was but they never thought in my life that I would end up doing a surrogacy process in Idaho.
– [Chelsea] Go get a football. – I want soccer ball. – A soccer ball? – Yeah. – No! – I feel like on the level, I am Understand, wanting to have a baby and not been able to, and how heartbreaking that is.
It took my husband and I a year to get pregnant our first time. We tried fertility treatment, and it just wasn’t happening. And so we decided to stop and a month later I got pregnant with our daughter Finley.
Are you look cold, you look cold. It was a perfect pregnancy and everything went really well. And she was due November 2, and I had an appointment on Friday, October 29th. We heard her heartbeat and the doctor asked if I wanted to strap my membranes and start the labor process and I said no.
And Friday, October 30 in the evening my whole family was flying in to be here for her birth and she stopped moving and she was gone. She would be seven, this October. I just want this to go really well and have two little babies for Enersto.
So it means a lot on both ends. – [Monica] I think one of the reasons that international intended parents continue to come to the US, is really a function of the way our laws are. There are mechanisms in place to protect people.
And I think that’s a draw for the US. So the law varies by state. There’s a handful of states that have statutes which set forth the rules applicable to surrogacy or gestational carrier arrangements. And so in those states, it’s very clear what you can do and how it applies.
Then you have quite a few other states that have no statutes and so the law has been developed through case law. And Idaho is one of those states there’s no statute on the books specifically to in vitro fertilization and gestational carrier arrangements.
How are you? Your ankles aren’t swollen anymore. – My shoes. – I don’t agree with the way Idaho does it. I think it’s unfair to require gestational carriers to go to court to terminate their parental rights when it’s very clear they have no biological relationship to the child court may ask you a few questions and then we should be set to go.
I think signing a consent is okay. But making them to go to court seems a little unfair. Particularly because we have paternity statutes which allow men to just sign an affidavit declaring whether they’re parent or not parent.
– So yeah, that’s for Spina Bifida. So for that one, you know, like we talked about, even if the baby has like Down syndrome or things like that we wouldn’t terminate, right? So wouldn’t change the outcome.
– Hi guys, how are you? – Hi – Are you guys interested in genetic testing? – What a spinal bifida? I don’t know if the ultrasound would tell you and throw that one out or – Your risk is extremely low.
It’s an optional test. Age of mother is the greatest risk – Carrier or a donor? – Carrier or a donor? – Egg donor. – So she donated at 29. – She’s younger than 35 So she’s young. – I don’t see any need.
– Okay. – Okay, All right, Samantha. If you’re wanting to attempt a vaginal delivery after c section, there’s a 1% chance that that scar could pop open and labor and in that circumstance, we can’t guarantee your life or your baby’s life no matter how fast we move.
– She says, you know up to us, but she likes to attempt the back. – Okay. – But I don’t know. Have you changed your mind since… – We want healthy mom healthy baby. That’s our goal. – So do we have to tell you today? – By 32 weeks.
– By 32 weeks okay. We don’t know you don’t have to – You have plenty of time to talk. – Okay, so next is the physical exam where I have you changed and I check you out and update your account. Are you guys gonna stay in here? Or we gonna put you in the side room? – Yeah, I think we can go Yeah, we’ll go.
(laughs) – How long were you in labor before you had to have the c section? – Gosh, I think total it was 36 hours. – There’s no guarantee that that’s not gonna happen again. Then I’m having a C section.
– Yeah. – [Norma] Gavi – Oh yeah, – There you go. – Just like that you got it. – Good job. – I think I told like two of my closest friends that she was going to be a surrogate mum. They kinda looked at me like the same way I looked at her the first time she told me like, why? And so then I said to them, you know, we know a few women that can’t have kids, and they will do anything.
And I think she’s doing this for someone else. She’s making this happen, so why not? – But you have to be really careful of who you talk to. ‘Cause I have received like some backlash, like people are like, Oh, really? Two dads? And I’m like, yeah.
– Oh, wow. I can’t do that. – I think it makes a lot of people uneasy. Especially being here in Idaho where everybody is so conservative. I usually tell Sammie you know, like, just pray about it. And she would say, well how? – Hold on a second, if you go into labor, you need to contact me – [Chelsea] okay.
– I need to contact Ernesto. And then if you guys set a date tomorrow, will you let us know what it is? – [Chelsea] Yes, of course Yeah. – Morning Chelsea, This weekend, I will be preparing the suitcase in case I have to rush to Boise.
Worst case scenario, I should be available in Boise in no more than 24 hours. We are almost. Thanks a lot. – So at 26 weeks I was actually at work when I started contracting and at first it was kind of not sure if that’s what I was feeling or not and I think more so.
I didn’t want it to be working in the nick you knowing that 26 weekers have a really good chance of having things like cerebral palsy and brain bleeds. I was very nervous and scared. – [Holly] So how often are you feeling contractions? – Today, I’ve only had a couple.
– Okay, so Okay. – Yesterday we were I called her that is yesterday morning for about 30 minutes – Okay called the on call. No I called Kelly – I send my bags packed and sit right here by the door. – I’ve been able to manage her more as an outpatient than I sometimes would because she’s, she’s well aware and reliable to come in, you know, right away if something changes.
There’s just a lot of variables when you’re dealing with the baby that’s only, you know, one to two pounds versus a baby, that’s four to five pounds. And when you have a little bit of dilation at the beginning, you have to wonder is, you know, any little bit of your inactivity going to cause us to progress and when you’re, you know, extreme preterm, sometimes it doesn’t take a whole lot of contractions to, you know, get to the point of complete having a baby.
– When I first started, I didn’t think about everything that possibly could happen to me whether it was you know, I lose my uterus or I You don’t have to do a C section or I lose my life. – Call me if you need anything, in the mean time.
All right, don’t hesitate to come back in, even if it’s later today. – My children and I are very open, we talk about, you know where they come from and I was adopted, and I found out on the playground, I never wanted that for my children because it was very tragic to me to find out on the playground and being caught every day I was adopted because my life would be very different if I was raised by my own mom.
– Nope, that slanted edge has to have a flat side. The Couple I did it for before it was local. They were at all the appointments, which I wish Ernesto was here for some of the appointments this time but it was a lot and it felt like a lot more pressure and I felt like I really let them down in the end.
There was one embryo and it split not completely. So I was pregnant with conjoined twins. And the couple decided not to terminate even though the doctor said, you know, there’s not a big chance of this turning out and then at 15 weeks I miscarried.
So we had a DNC, and they ended up tearing my uterus in the process. My husband thought I was dying during the procedure because it took three hours. – [Chelsea’s Husband] That was terrifying to me, because I felt like my wife doing something that was completely selfless.
– And after that happened, he said, You’re not doing this again. But we let a year pass and I said, You know, I just feel like I that wasn’t how I wanted it to play out. And that’s not I didn’t help someone have a Baby and that was why I wanted to do this.
So then we started the process again and met Ernesto and it’s been wonderful. It’s been so good this time. – All right, thank you. All right, Bye. – You need to get off your phone. – What? I have to be on my phone.
– No you need to be off your phone. – We have over 30 intended parents who are waiting to be matched right now, so we are working hard to get new surrogates all the time. I mean, as soon as we get a surrogate, usually they must took them like a week.
A Host of possibilities this is Nicole. I’m Good, how are you? When I first opened, 80% of my clients were traditional and now I would say 75% are same sex from another country. It’s huge. And they just want a baby.
Alright, talk to you later. Bye. A delivery I know it’s born two weeks. Crazy, huh? – When Albero and Amaya were born It’s like when you’re running a marathon, you have the finish line right in front of you.
There are many things that suddenly come to your mind all the ups and downs of the last few years. – [Chelsea’s Husband] The fact that it was a c casserian and so harsh medical procedure was frightening to me.
They allowed one person to come in and we agreed that Ernesto could be there. – [Ernesto] When I saw them the first time, I thought this were not my babies they were so cute. You just want to kiss then you just want to make sure that they are, they’re fine and when everything is over, it’s like, you are high and they are high for I don’t know, I was high for a few days.
You know, it’s like, I was so glad that everything went well with Chelsea because I was really concerned. Despite of all the things that she has gone through, she was perfectly fine and she was okay. Nice to meet you, how are you doing? – Pretty well.
Please come in. Ah you speak Spanish I’m espanyol. (laughing) – Here’s a bag of milk. – Oh my God, okay. Please come in. You want to hold them? – Yeah, yes please. – They are 15 days today. – This is Amaya.
Pronounce his name for me because I can’t roll it like you. – Albero, – Albert. – Well Albert could be Alberto, which is similar yeah. Most of the things that you have in life, they come with a manual or instructions or a guide or something.
It’s not the case of babies. The most useful thing by far I think is YouTube. When you went to YouTube is like a how to make a newborn asleep at night. You know, how to change diapers, or how this or how that, – Even in the hospital the nurses would say, Don’t feed them because if Ernesto is not here, he’ll be upset.
He wants to be part of the feeding and the changing learning and… – Do you remember at the court hearing, when the judge she was asking do you think Ernesto is capable of raising these babies? The judge wasn’t sure.
She was asking these kind of questions and I was like wow. – That was to terminate my rights as their parents so to hand over to Ernesto that the babies that need the money, in fact, I mean, I’m sure that today, surrogacy is something we are all strange to many people, but it’s not going to be the case in five 10, 15 years.
I was really impressed also by the behavior of your kids. The most difficult part for them was at the hospital Obviously – They did not like seeing me in the hospital. It was very upsetting to them, but besides that, they did great.
They did really well. He’s waking up. – Let me do one more. – Okay. – Ernesto, can you hit this on the microwave with a formula? Or not? – [Ernesto] No no. – Thats not for discussion. She’s about to eat.
Oh my God, come on baby vampire. This is potato. I need him awake at least for the next three to four hours. Otherwise it’s going to be another vampire night.(chuckles) – Mommy I don’t want the babies to leave.
– I know I don’t want me either. We’ll Skype them a lot, okay? Bye. – Please don’t cry. – When she told me she was gonna be a surrogate, I was very worried about how everyday life was gonna continue when we got to a stage like this.
That worries the hell out of me. – [Cindy] I was hoping to get released back to work but started having more complications. The doctor was right that he was possibly having a stroke. – I worry a lot about it.
I have four boys. I don’t know what life would be at without them. So I know how important it is for Julian they get this opportunity in this blessing. I just want them both be healthy. It’s important.
– I contract all day long, four or five times an hour, hoping we can make it another week. But honestly all I’ll be surprised if we do. – [Gabi] You’re almost there, you’re almost to the finish line. – I’m gonna sleep for five minutes kay.
okay Night night. – [Gabi] No, no hitting. My sister having the C section scares me and frustrates me, I don’t like the thoughts of not being in there with her. For one of the dads to get to experience, seeing their kid for the first time, makes it less scary.
– When we decided to do the C section, ultimately, David and Todd left the decision up to me. And I already knew that they have invested a lot of time and a lot of money into bringing this child into the world.
So I took that into consideration. And then I also thought about if I were gonna have any children of my own, that’s probably the option that I would take. Are you hungry? – How are the kids doing good? – Good they’re big.
– Yeah. – The boy looks like him right? – Yeah, a lot actually. – I started running again, when I get done, it feels like this whole area it’s like searing pain. – When you’ve had this many pregnancies, the ligaments that support the uterus in the middle are stretched out.
That uterus bounces around and a lot of runners have prolapse uterine pain, if they’ve had too much pregnancy so… – I have another question for you about the clot. I guess I’m just nervous that it’s not gone.
Since it was in my lung it makes me a little bit more nervous. – We don’t know where your clots came from. But we would assume it’s pelvis, probably a trauma from having surgery. You know, I wish that first baby had been in a better alignment, because that one was sideways in your pelvis and just can’t deliver.
I think you’re not going to be doing any more pregnancies. Is that right? – Correct. We can’t get pregnant so like I said, if we get pregnant again, he’ll say, “who’s the dad?”(laughs) – [Ernesto] Alberito – Alberinyo.
– For me that they are like extended family. The way I think about Chelsea and her family is for me is like extended family. (speaking in Spanish) – Obviously my point is very different. (Speaking in foreign language) Obviously my sister loves the babies and she send me messages, asking for pictures, videos, et cetera.
She understands that I have a very strong relationship with Chelsea but the stills is not in favor of service. Now the guy could have done what you did yesterday. Oh yeah, he could have I would have used a lot more swear words.
(laughs) So we thought we were gonna make it to induction day which would have been today, but my water broke on Sunday morning and we delivered last night. look at him Look at you Oh Julian did a good job.
(speaking foreign language) – we spend one mouth here, so beautiful. spending time with Cindy with the kids with the friends we are in this moment. So connected. Oh perfect. – If I was younger, and I didn’t have all of my children in being the sole supporter, I would do it again.
It’s hard. So it was so worth it. Oh, what happened? What are they? Oh you got wet. Are you okay? – [Sammie] They told me to be there by six for paperwork. – What time are you gonna get up? – Probably like 5:40 (laughing) 5:45.
– Where’s Baby? Where’s Millie? Where’s memo? – Oh, yeah, – He’s going Bye bye he’s going home, huh? – He’s gonna go home tomorrow. – No I’m not picking you up. – I can pick you up. There We go. – [David] In the very beginning, One of the question that Nicole asked us was, what kind of relationship you would like to have with the surrogate after the birth of the child? We were not sure.
But now it’s complete difference. – We have spent quite a bit of time together – And a very important you know, steps in life so, yeah. – Okay. – It’s very pretty out this morning. I’ve never been up this early.
– This is supposed to be nice today at 80 – Really? – Bernie got something good for dinner. Pizza. – Oooh It’s gonna make you so sick right after. – Oh no, it’s a night It’s gonna be so delicious. – We’re a little late.
– So good to see you. – You ready? – No I dint have tear tissues, I don’t have a red bull. You interested in what he looks like? – He looks like David. good squeeze. He’s gonna be big. – How big was David when he was born? – Nine pounds – Oh my God.
– Any contractions? – No. – Any complications during this pregnancy? – No Luckily – She’s so strong. – She’s okay. – Did you think it was going to be this? Nervous? – I’m not nervous not anymore. – Okay.
I’m just ready to see him. – Uhuh. Enough waiting already. So what is it about the skin of skin? Is like such a bonding experience for the baby. – You should have asked. – You don’t know? – I don’t know that textbook answer.
– We can learn all about it when we come out. Two more minutes. – Okay. – so this was a killer draped – Does he look like you? – I don’t know. I think am gonna cry. – I’m Sorry I don’t want to cut you.
Sam you’re gonna find out how much he weighs. (child crying) – Eight pounds, 13 ounces. Oh my Gosh! I have waited for you for so long. – So your body heat will help keep them nice and warm. He can hear your heartbeat which is very soothing for him.
And so it helps him just to become more relaxed. He’s heard your voice throughout the pregnancy even though he was inside his jammies belly. And so it’s just a familiar sound for him so he knows that you’re his dad right away.
That’s pretty amazing. – How are you? – Good. Have you seen the baby yet? – No, I will. – I’m excited for you to go see him. I guess even a few there on her way. – So, can we get like I’m not in any pain, just a little uncomfortable.
– How’d everything go? – Good. It went really well he Is 813 – Oohh! – Yeah. – You’re so little and you had such a big baby. – Are you trying to get back to work for? – four weeks. – Okay. So you’ll have time to come to court and you’ll be feeling like you can’t miss Okay, – sounds good.
– Okay, all right. – I got a Mother’s Day thing from Julian – Oh, cute. – Isn’t he big? – Yes, he is so big. – My intended mother sent me the cutest message to. – Oh, I want to see Yeah, – This past year has been the absolute best year of my whole life and I’m so grateful that you were part of that.
Not a day will ever go by when I am not thankful for the gift you gave us. I can’t wait to see you all in a couple days. – Oh that’s so awesome. Isn’t it crazy how you can get so intertwined with them and not really knowing your whole life but then you like them forever.
– It’s so weird. – There a part of you but they’re, you know, – yeah, yeah. – You still thinking about the second journey So, – yeah. – My quiet time is usually running. That’s when I get to clear my head and just kind of reset so that I have a little bit more patience with my kids and my husband.
Since the birth of the surrogacy twins, it’s actually been really healing for me. I don’t feel like I ever fully grieved our daughter. So I held most of it in and cried quietly. So actually going through the process has been healing to me and to my relationship with my kids.
And with Jeremy. – Okay, this works – Take picture. – Yeah So sweet – yeah Come on that’s okay. – He’s got bombed eyebrows. – We had, you know, goals for the day. So we’ve set our goals kind of low, it was a bath and change a diaper.
We did good. – This came out of my body. This came out of my body. I’m so grateful that I got to do this for them. I was telling my mom last night that when I was on the table when they were getting ready to cut me open, I had kind of like a wave of anxiety.
And I wanted to start crying, because I was really scared but I thought about the day prior. And I thought about them playing with Walter and I felt that I was fine. And knowing that those are the kind of parents that they’re gonna be that made me really happy.
(soft music) – [Woman] Boy, you went fast. (Todd mumbling) (lips smooching) (David speaks in foreign language) (child laughs) (footsteps creaking) (Ernesto mumbles) (child laughs) – Right? – Yeah. (women laughing) – You better smile.
♪ If you happy and you know claps you hands ♪ ♪ If you happy and you know claps you hands ♪ (woman claps) (soft guitar music) ♪ She’s not heavy, she’s your little everything ♪ ♪ On her way to the daylight and all it brings ♪ ♪ And I don’t mind at all ♪ ♪ No, I don’t mind at all ♪ ♪ Okay, just a little bit ♪ ♪ On your way now ♪ ♪ On your way now ♪ ♪ She’s no trouble, she can travel here with me ♪ ♪ I’ll share all that I am and that’s a guarantee ♪ ♪ And I don’t mind at all ♪ ♪ And I don’t mind at all ♪ ♪ Well okay, just a little bit ♪ ♪ On your way now ♪ ♪ On your way now ♪ ♪ Go on, hit the ground running ♪ ♪ Hit the ground running ♪ (logo whooshing)